Odd Angles
By Jean Sorensen
Sleep on It: Part II - In my last column, I spoke about sleepover preparations for the house and child. Now it's time for the main event.Activities are the highlight and downfall of every sleepover. Never-misses are flashlight tag and burping contests, often done simultaneously. Potential concerns include food-related contests and any game that contains the word "dare." But the biggest misstep is movie choice.
My oldest child was 6 when he went to his first sleepover. Because the theme was dinosaurs, I expected the parents to show the animated film "The Land Before Time" after a trip to the park. I was close -- the kids' heart rates were animated while watching "Jurassic Park." One mother said her son went through three nightlights and two mattresses that summer.
Even more frightening is the tale of a friend who rented what, to her, sounded like a wholesome movie for her daughter's sleepover, "American Pie." It had the added attraction of being unrated: "That must mean it's for all audiences!" Thankfully, her oldest son saved face, and lawsuit, by cluing her in before showtime.
Since sleep is virtually nonexistent, the next phase of a sleepover jumps directly to the morning after, which starts with a hearty breakfast or, in my case, a half-hearted breakfast -- dry cereal. I have learned that many households offer items like pancakes, the kind that don't list "microwave" as a main ingredient. I can only assume that's done as penance for movie rental negligence. In my kitchen, the closest I get to a pan has Peter for a first name and comes in crunchy, creamy and honey roasted.
Even so, I do offer a wide variety of mini-cereals to little house guests. While most children welcome the sugary choices, one youngster memorably asked, "So what's the deal with breakfast?" Pointing to the row of small boxes, I said, "That's the deal." His reply: "I think I'll go home now." He hasn't slept over since, even though I invited his mother over to cook him breakfast.
Then there is the closing ceremony: retrieval. This can turn into a lengthy wait for a sleepover host because guests' parents often use the opportunity to sleep in, enjoy brunch and/or go on a weekend cruise to the Caribbean. Tip: Obtain and verify parents' itineraries and cell numbers in advance.
The most notorious sleepover aftereffect involves repercussions of children trying to earn bragging rights: For boys, that's three-and-a-half hours of sleep. What I call "sleepover lag" renders the participant nonfunctional for the next 24 hours. Before a child finishes his "I-Am-Not-Tired!" defense, he's doing a face plant into a slice of cold pepperoni pizza.
The best sleepover aftereffect, however, is the debriefing. When a child sleeps over at someone's home, it is a perfect opportunity to teach responsibility, manners and spy techniques. The grilling covers topics such as food served, parental involvement, house cleanliness and size. My daughter once told me that her friend's house was so big, she "got lost, but we spent most of the time in the pool house." No, it was not a community pool.
There are times, though, when debriefing has left a worse taste in my mouth than the Cinnamon Toast Crunch mini-cereal I couldn't resist. Like when my then 10-year-old came home and said his friends walked to the local strip mall ... at night ... by themselves ... during the sniper shootings. The word "WHAT?" has never been spoken louder before or since.
My favorite was the time I picked up my daughter. "God kept telling us to quiet down!" Turns out it was a combination of divine intervention, an impatient dad and an intercom. One friend said that when her children outgrew sleepovers, it was one sign of their rapid acceleration into adulthood she didn't lose sleep over.
Amen to that.